“At the end of the day, in all but the most extreme of cases, bullies are welcomed back into the schools with open arms while the victims are left looking over their shoulders for the rest of their lives. – GM”
I was bullied from my first day of school to my last; physically, verbally, psychologically. I was the quiet kid, not very good at sports, shy around girls. I was the awkward kid with the fuzzy hair, who listened to the wrong music, and wore the wrong clothes; a prime target for bullies. I managed to survive and I moved on, but not without scars: twenty-five years on and I still suffer from depression, anxiety, and a host of social phobias. You could say that bullying, in part, made me who I am.
Bullies, too, have their reasons for being who they are. There may be psychological causes, abuse, or other factors behind the behaviour. In many cases the bully is also a victim in their own right, equally in need of support. The underlying reason for the bully’s aggression has to be taken very seriously.
So when my child told me he was being bullied, I reported it to the school and the bully was suspended for three days. The offending child is now on his fourth three-day suspension and will, in all likelihood, continue the cycle of bullying and suspensions in the weeks to come. According to the school, this troubled youth has been reprimanded numerous times for verbally harassing other students with sexually explicit taunts, in addition to the anti-Semitic insults directed at my child.
When I suggested to Charles Sheppard, coordinator of school services at the Cape Breton Victoria Regional School Board, that his solution of infinitely recurring three-day suspensions was ineffective and that more serious steps had to be taken in this matter, he replied, “That’s just the way we do things now. I don’t know what else you expect from us.”
What I expect is the same thing all reasonable and responsible parents expect: a safe and welcoming learning environment for my children. I expect my children to be afforded the opportunity to learn and grow, free of fear and anxiety. To that end, I expect the administration of the school board to provide adequate support and counselling to children who exhibit aggressive antisocial tendencies, but more importantly I expect the school board to enforce policies that are meant to protect the general student population from the harmful actions of bullies.
The school board does not appear to recognize the long term effects of bullying. A child who suffers ongoing harassment throughout their school years will most likely become a fearful adult, always watching their back, always anticipating the next assault, robbed of the freedom to enjoy adult life to its fullest. It’s an exhausting way to live and it exacts a heavy toll not only on the victim, but also on the victim’s families and friends.
We cannot assume that simply reporting the problem will result in any resolution. As I have seen first hand, the current system of laws and policies are written in such a way that they protect the rights of the offender more-so than the rights of the victim. The recent public relations campaigns around bullying and cyber-bullying do little more than instil a false sense of security. At the end of the day, in all but the most extreme of cases, bullies are welcomed back into the schools with open arms while the victims are left looking over their shoulders for the rest of their lives.